The Three C’s of My First Year of Marriage

I am so honored to be featured once again in New Mobility Magazine to talk about my marriage, the challenges we face, and how we work through them. Marriage is challenging enough, but when you add in the layered complexity of disability into a relationship I find that you have to work even harder on communication and making things work.

Check out the article below and I hope you enjoy 🙂

MY MENTAL HEALTH – My “Inner Demons”

Mental Health.  Society has come to appreciate the importance of mental health just as much as physical health in recent decades, but somehow there still a negative shadow cast over those who open up about mental challenges they may be facing.  If you break your leg people openly tend to express sympathy for the pain you must be feeling.

However, if you talk about bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, or whatever else ails you inside the complicated workings of your brain, oftentimes, people tend to form an opinion about the stability of you as a person.  The leads to people forming quicker judgments about your ability to function in your job, your life, family or home.  It’s unfortunate, but mental health, in my opinion, is still not a topic that gets the attention it deserves.

As many of you know I like to crack open uncomfortable topics and dive right into them.  With that said, I’m going to open up about some of the serious inner demons that afflict me on a daily basis, how I deal with them, and, frankly, how I compartmentalize most of them just to get through my days.

Continue reading

My Husband – Partner & Caregiver – How Do We Make It Work?

Recently my husband and I took a week long vacation to visit a friend in Florida.  I distinctly remember one day when he was helping me with all of my bathroom duties, getting my swimsuit on, lifting me up from a very low surface bed (killing his back), lifting me into the pool, showering me by the pool, helping me with my makeup, straightening my hair, and then cleaning up.  These are just a few of the things he’d helped me with that day, but the list really does go on. 

The numerous amount of small things I need help with in a day seem endless whether that be filling my water bottle, fixing my feet on my wheelchair, grabbing my legs as I have uncontrollable spasticity, getting me in bed when my pain is through the roof, etc.

The day came and went, and as I was hanging out with my girlfriend I rolled back into the bedroom to find him sprawled out on the bed.  He was just tired – I mean how could he not be?  He was taking care of his quadriplegic wife 24/7 for 8 straight days.  I remember thinking how guilty I felt for being such a burden, but not once did he make me feel that way.  These are my own demons I battle with as a quadriplegic because I need full-time help every day – all day.

Read the rest on Push Living Magazine to see how we make it work as a couple!

I am so incredibly honored to have been posted on United Wheels Podcast by United Spinal Association with Paul Amadeus Lane the other week.

 

I feel truly blessed to be able to spread the message and help folks get “medically necessary equipment” approved by their health insurance companies. We have to stand together to fight together!

 

http://unitedonwheels.blubrry.net/meet-ali-ingersoll/

 

#quirkyquad #showertalkwithali #disabilityawareness #disabilityrights #disability #wheelchairgirl #wheelchairlife #fightforyourrights #standtogther #youcandoit #insurancebattles #insurancerights #spinalcordinjury #podcastfun #unitedspinal #crtawareness #advocacy #selfadvocate

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF ALI AT 17 – CHINESE JAIL 101

In light of world events and the seriousness of everything many of us are going through with Covid-19 I thought it might be fun to talk about something completely off topic and also nothing related to spinal cord injury either!

The following is a tale of my adventurous and crazy exploits when I lived in China at a ripe old age of 17 and how I managed to land myself in Jail in Northern China near the border of Siberia.

I graduated high school at 17 and had no desire to rush off to college as so many do.  I decided to defer my acceptance into college for a year or so, but I had no idea where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do.  I walked into my father’s office and found one of those globes that spin around in a circle.  I closed my eyes and my finger landed on Beijing, China. Continue reading

NAVIGATING THE CORONA PANDEMIC – A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

Today is the first quiet moment I have had in over six weeks and I realized I had not engaged in one of my favorite activities – Writing!  Life has been a fast-paced world wind of excitement, chaos, joy, and hustle recently.  This doesn’t even include the elephant in the room at the moment of our current Pandemic of the Coronavirus!

In November my husband and I purchased our first home, started renovations, packed up our old apartment, and made the Herculean effort of moving a quadriplegic to a new home all before the race of the Coronavirus.  It has been nonstop for me and I’m elated to find a quiet moment today to get back to what I love.

We are finally moved into our beautiful new home, getting settled in, and trying to make our home finally feel like a home.  In short, we have been “Adulting!”  I had a singular mission of trying to move into our home, but on the tail end of moving the Coronavirus started moving at accelerated rate – although not before we were able to physically get into our new condo.  Thankfully, at present, we are quarantined at home and are both still busy working while still having endless To-Do projects.

My husband, Aaron, has been working tirelessly for the past 9 months and we have barely had time to spend together, so it’s a treat to be able to be locked in the house together.  When we don’t feel like it’s such a treat to be locked in together 24/7 — then we have wine 😉

Over the last 10 years I’ve never really been able to take a real shower and having my newly renovated bathroom is a dream come true.  Last week I had my ceiling lift installed, which was so fun as I was swinging like a monkey.

Now, I don’t have a shower chair yet as things have pretty much come to a stop from a retail standpoint with the pandemic, but looking at my shower at the moment is equally as gratifying.  I’m sure once I take a real shower I will have a different take on it.

The last several weeks have not been without their challenges though as millions of Americans are presently feeling.  I lost a caregiver, found a great new one, but am unable to physically work with him yet as we have “stay at home” orders directed by the state of North Carolina. Bringing someone into your home during a pandemic is probably not a brilliant idea considering I have a compromised immune system and less lung function than most.

I’ve spoken to dozens of friends who are disabled and able-bodied, and life generally is not looking rosy for most folks right now.  I don’t even know what this country will look like when we are done with this, how we will rebuild, how the financial system is going to recover after a $2 trillion stimulus, but there is one thing I do know.  The only way we are going to get through this is if we stick together and not trample thy neighbor for a roll of toilet paper. Continue reading

Aquatic Therapy – The Story of a Paralyzed Mermaid

 

Thinking back to my childhood I recall playing the “what do you want to be when you grow up” game with other kids.  My answer was always a resounding “mermaid.”  The water has always been such a central part of my life having grown up in the Bahamas.  When I broke my neck nearly 10 years ago, I couldn’t imagine how life would continue if I was unable to get back to the aquatic lifestyle I had become accustomed to.

When I was in the ICU and inpatient rehab the first few months after my accident, I was also battling a stage III pressure sore on my sacrum.   I could not wrap my head around how I would ever get back into the water.  I saw many other SCI folks start to dive back into activities in rehab, but I was not as fortunate. I was confined to bed rest all day, except for several hours of rehab, due to the raging pressure sore I had sustained during transport from the Bahamas to Miami after the accident.

While I stayed focused in rehab, worked on my computer, and made the best of my situation, I started to give up hope that I would ever get back into the water again.  Once I was released from rehab and sent home, I kept asking my caregivers and my mom every day if my pressure sore was healing, and I kept asking wound nurses how long it would take.  I didn’t know if I going to be able to get back in the water, but my family and I kept researching swim instructors anyway.  Somehow, I held onto a glimmer of hope despite the mounting medical challenges I was facing.

Read the rest on Push Living Magazine:  https://pushliving.com/aquatic-therapy-a-story-of-a-paralyzed-mermaid/

 

INTIMACY AND ROMANCE AFTER MARRIAGE – “NEWLYWED LIFE”

If you get married in your early 20’s I’m sure life after marriage, especially newlywed life, is comprised of sex, unicorns, and rainbows!  However, I think when you get married in your mid 30’s or later the concept of romance and intimacy after marriage profoundly changes.  So many television shows and movies over the last century have romanticized newlywed life for so many.

In several months I’m coming up on my one year anniversary of marrying my one and only, my main squeeze, and my partner in crime.  I can only share with you what I’ve learned thus far and I’m sure the life lessons will continue to roll in as the year’s progress.

Being a newlywed comes with so many new adventures, challenges, and compromises.  I think we were unique as a couple respect to understanding the intimacies of daily life because of my situation with spinal cord injury.  My “now” husband had to intimately understand everything that comes along with my care, my life, and issues I face.  I find so many couples don’t really get to know one another until years after marriage, but there are advantages to having a disability as you really need to show your partner your whole self because they need to know what they are getting into if they want to be with you for life.

Read the Rest on Push Living Magazine: https://pushliving.com/intimacy-and-romance-after-marriage-newlywed-life/

 

BEHIND THE SCENES: From the ICU to the Walking Down the Aisle

 

They say it takes a village to raise a well-rounded child. While this may not be the case in the modern times we live in, in the past, an entire community would watch out for a child while their parents went out to work to provide for their children.

I think similar parallels can be drawn today when a person has a traumatic injury, disease, or disability. If you are on your own with no support or help when you break your neck, for example, life can be infinitely more challenging with an extremely bleak outlook for life without the support of family, friends or community.

I can personally attest that I would not be where I am today without a Herculean effort from my family and closest friends. This article is dedicated to more people than I will be able to thank personally in helping me survive the ICU in the early days 9 years ago to walking down the aisle just a few weeks ago.

Read the rest on PUSH LIVING MAGAZINE:

https://pushliving.com/behind-the-scenes-from-the-icu-to-t…/