My Intimate Experience with a Paralyzed Guy BEFORE My Accident

When I was strolling along the Art Deco streets of South Beach with my boyfriend this past month while on vacation in Miami I stumbled across one of my old stomping grounds … A beat up Irish pub called the Playwright where I would love to dance and get into trouble. I couldn’t resist popping in for memory sake when a flashback hit me of an experience I had with a gorgeous man in a wheelchair.

Beautiful South Beach

I must have been 24 years or so when I was out late one night and I spotted this beautiful man sitting at a table with his friends. I’ve always been the type of person to go up to random people and start talking to them. I walked over to the table, took a seat, and decided to strike up a conversation with the group. They happened to be from Australia and I have always been a sucker for Australian accents.

I was attracted to this one guy in particular and we started flirting. Continue reading

My Famous “Underwear” Dates!

When I first started online dating and meeting gentlemen I wasn’t quite sure how things would progress when I reached the bedroom stage of the relationship. I am paralyzed from the chest down with some arm function.  So, in order to get me into bed I have to have somebody lift me, take off my close, clean my catheter, and get me into position. Clearly this is not the most sexy activity and I was not quite sure how I was going to proceed with getting naked with men that I did not know very well.

As multiple dates progressed it was getting to the point where I was probably going to have to stop secret make out sessions around my apartment complex and take them upstairs. I explained to my gentleman callers I had caregivers that would help me with my daily living activities, but I did not explain what that entailed.

Several of these men were courting me and I felt I was at that point and comfortable to where I wanted to dive in and have sex with them. This still left me with the conundrum … How on earth was I going to look sexy for the first time?

I woke up one morning racking my brain because I had invited one of these men up to my bedroom on a Friday night and it was presently Wednesday morning. All of a sudden it dawned on me that I should be all prepared in bed for them so they did not have to do any work. I could put on sexy lingerie, tape my catheter tube to my body so they did not rip it out, lay myself in a somewhat attractive position, and have them walk into my apartment.

The next question that was playing in my mind was how to tell these guys that I would be ready for sex and all they had to do was walk into my apartment. I agreed with my caregivers beforehand that they would hide in their room when the guys walked in in order to not make them uncomfortable.

The term “UNDERWEAR DATE” was born. Essentially, I would be in my knickers and a sexy little blanket waiting for action! I didn’t think these guys would have any problem with the concept as I pretty much could not make it any easier for them 🙂 You must remember that this was a time in my life when I wanted to experiment sexually and I was not interested in a relationship. I needed to explore my body sexually and figure out what worked for me, and what did not. Clearly this would require a little bit of experimentation, a great deal of humor, and a carefree attitude.

“I was trying to be wonder woman in bed! A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do”

I will not going to details of all of my underwear dates, but I will highlight a few of the funnies. Continue reading

SEX & ORGASMS….. Yes Please!

Considering the Quirky Quad Diaries is a blog on “Sex, Sass, and Spinal Cord Injuries” I thought I would dive into the topic of Sex in intimate detail!

Sex … I grew up in a culture in Europe where sex was a very open topic. I was taught to embrace my sexuality and not be ashamed of it, which so many societies, especially here in the United States, seem to shy away from.

Most sex shops are in the back of parking lots and buildings with no windows. I’m not quite sure why as a culture we are ashamed to go buy a porno film, vibrator or any other sexual toy that one desires. Why are we so quick to judge people on race, sexual desires, sexual preferences, etc.? The human condition perhaps?

This spills over into another topic. SEXUALITY & BEING HANDICAP. From numerous conversations with handicap folks and able-bodied folks over the years I’ve come to gather the impression that many people think just because someone is paralyzed that they are not sexual, cannot feel sex, nor do they enjoy it.

This is a very sensitive topic for most and one I am also intimately familiar with. For almost 5 years after my accident I did not think I would ever find love, have sex again, or find someone who would see beyond my disability. Whether you are overweight, short, tall, skinny, disabled, mentally impaired, or different it can be easy to assume sexuality can go out the door. I did not feel sexual, pretty or desirable as I did before the accident, which took me many years to overcome.

However, this particular blog is not about the emotional roller coaster of dealing with sexuality and being handicap. I want to focus on the physical act of Sex. I am constantly flooded with questions from handicap folks and able-bodied folks alike with respect to what the sex actually feels like for me? How about for most handicap folks?

While I cannot speak for everybody I can say that when you do have a spinal cord injury sex dramatically changes. The sexual nerves are wrapped around the bottom part of the spinal cord called the sacrum. If you sustain a spinal cord injury then your sexual function is impaired in the traditional sense no matter how paralyzed you are; whether from the neck down, chest down, waist down, legs down, etc.

As I was preparing to have sex for the first time I had no idea how it was going to feel like or if I would be able to orgasm.

The first question is what is an Orgasm?

Continue reading

Welcome to the “Quirky Quad Diaries”

This blog and website has been a long time in the making. I created the Quirky Quad Diaries on my personal Facebook page over the last year and a half. Several months ago I realized I had over 80 pages of blogs written on Facebook, but they were lost to the news feed.

So, I got off my butt and decided to create a website & blog to share my stories. Now, you can browse my stories, blogs, and other sections of this website at your leisure in an organized manner.

I created the Quirky Quad Diaries to share stories of my life experiences before and after the accident, crazy adventures I have experienced, things I have been through, and so much more. Hopefully, and above all, I will make you laugh, but I may make you cry, shock you, and hopefully will be able to bring a little joy to some people’s lives 🙂

I will do my utmost to post a blog each week unless I am on some sort of crazy adventure.

I have created multiple sections for this blog, so please poke around and explore!

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My Life

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Please feel free to reach out to me as I love to help everyone and anyone in any way I can!