Caregiving & Sexuality

Very cool podcast I was part of that offers a very unique perspective on how many of us with disabilities approach the conversations with our caregivers when we want to be intimate with a new person in our life, and how we handle those conversations.

Probably not something you think much about, but it’s an important topic that constantly gets pushed aside and is left unrecognized!

I personally have had a lot of really interesting experiences and conversations when I was engaged in the dating part of my life prior to getting married. Some wild conversations for sure 😉

#disabilitylife #relationships #disability #sexuality #disabilityinclusion #caregiversupport #caregiver #caregiving #disabilitysexuality #openconcept #disabilitylife #perspectiveiseverything #perspectiveshift

YouTube Channel Live – “Shower Talk with Ali”

YOUTUBE CHANNEL LINK: https://www.youtube.com/c/AliIngersollshowertalkwithali

This has been a project near and dear to my heart that I have been working on for the better part of a year, but projects have just been popping up left and there never really seemed to be a right time to take the leap. So, I decided weeks ago to just dive right in as they say (figuratively of course because I already took the physical dive 12 years ago;) – and, I certainly don’t have any desire to do that again!

I am incredibly humbled, honored, and proud to announce the launch of my new YouTube channel called

“Shower Talk with Ali – Where No Topic is Limit”

To complement my website and my writing I appreciate many people love to watch videos. In light of this, I’ve created this YouTube channel with the sole focus of approaching and normalizing uncomfortable topics in my life and the disability world so that folks from all walks of life can understand what many of us go through on a daily basis. This is not a channel just about inspiration, but really diving into understanding some of what many of us with disabilities live through each and every moment of our lives.

In the spirit of who I am I have approach many topics through the lens of dark humor, determination, and sheer grit at times. No matter what situation I may me dealing with in life I always seem to find the comedy behind every experience my life.

I do hope you enjoy, follow my channel, like, subscribe, and comment so that I might be able to make videos on what you are all interested in! This channel is by no means just for people with disabilities, but for EVERYONE may just be curious and loves to learn about topics that are very unfamiliar in your own life.

Introduction to My YouTube Channel:

PODCAST with Kevin Lowe

I was the guest on a super cool podcast with the most amazing gentleman named Kevin Lowe.

Kevin has an incredible story in his own right and he certainly makes the most of life with his incredibly quirky, and hilarious sense of humor.

Kevin too, shares a disability with me, but his is in the realm of sight. He is blind and has navigated his life so eloquently, with grace, and a ton of humor.

We had such a fabulous time during this podcast that I felt like I was chatting with an old friend who I had known for years!I would love for you to check out his podcast and start listening to him!

A Life Through the Lens of Dark Humor

The absurdity of spinal cord injury with respect to the fact that being paralyzed is oftentimes the least of your challenges as compared to the endless secondary medical complications, caregiving challenges, financial burdens, to name a few, can turn a perfectly sane individual into one who is tinkering on the edge of insanity.  The question remains is how do so many of us with these life altering changes cope with, what can only be described at times, as a revolving circus carnival of animals? 

We each develop and build upon our own coping mechanisms as the year’s progress and as we become a little bit older and wiser in spinal cord injury years.  For me, dark humor is, bar none, my number one savior to get me through most days.

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Rebel Love Podcast Now Live

Love, Sex & Orgasms …Yup, I went there live on Rebel Love Podcast!It was a blast speak with Talia on so many subjects and shedding light on disability and sexuality.

Naturally this is a topic near and dear to my heart since my website has a tagline on this very topic!I don’t know if many of you know this, but my entire advocacy mission in life started 6 years ago because of a dating experiment I would write about on my Facebook page.

This is actually how the QUIRKY QUAD Diaries was founded… Simply trying to show women with disabilities that a love life is absolutely possible even in a wheelchair 🙂

Also, to be completely honest it was super fun to write about sex at a time when I was dealing with major life changing surgeries!

EP39: Life As A Quadriplegic After A Shallow Water Diving Accident: Ali’s Story

ICU Survival Guide with a Twist!

There’s an art and a science to pretty much everything in life and surviving for weeks on end in the ICU is no different.  With a majority of medical professionals being woefully under trained in all of the secondary complications accompanying spinal cord injury, the thought of trying to stay alive while you’re in the hospital can be a daunting prospect -especially when you have to play your own investigator in assisting these professionals with your diagnoses.

However, while there’s definitely a certain amount of research, planning, and preparation that needs to be thought out by the patient when you are essentially locked into the hospital by your medical professionals; you can have a little fun with it as well.  Living on the edge of life and death, as many folks with spinal cord injury will very likely attest to, I find taking a dark humor outlook on most situations to be healing for my body, and my soul.

Despite my long ICU stay in 2016, I maintained a cheery disposition, but this time I decided to do something a little bit wackier to pass the time.  What pray tell did I do you may ask?

Why an ICU sexy photo shoot of course!

Check it out on Push Living Magazine:

“WHAT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY OUT LOUD”

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The other day I was working with my caregiver and I caught myself thinking about some of the things I ask for on a daily basis, and just how unbelievably bizarre they must sound the average able-bodied person. 

I started to make a list of these particularly humorous statements that most people would consider very peculiar indeed!  I found myself laughing out loud because I thought back to my life a decade ago and how I never would have thought I would catch myself asking people to do these particular tasks for me.  To end the year on a funny note amidst a year of complete chaos I hope to leave you with a chuckle by the end of this article.

Bowel Care

I’ve written about this topic numerous times, but when you are paralyzed you need help going to the bathroom.  Plain and simple.  When you (an able-bodied person) go to the bathroom you simply sit down on the toilet and poop.  I, along with most other spinal cord injury folks, especially quadriplegics, do not have this luxury.

I do not have the ability to use my abdominal muscles to push out the poop.  Probably too much information, I know, but that’s life.  In any event, I have to put a suppository in my bum, let the poop come out, and then I have to have my caregiver put gloves on to go into my behind to get the rest of the poop out.  Yes, it’s a pretty involved process, not particularly pleasant, but, hey, it is better than the alternative of going to the hospital because you can’t poop.

So, every morning during my “Morning Program” I ask some of the following questions:

1.) “How much poop did you get out of my bum?”

2.) “Okay, can you put your finger in my bum now to get the rest of the poop out?”

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Let’s Have Some Fun – Ali’s Most Embarrassing Wheelchair Moments

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As I was lying in bed last night the metaphorical wheels were turning in my head with respect to the next move I am planning on making towards my advocacy mission with getting durable medical equipment and services paid for by Goliath health insurance companies. My mind unexpectedly wandered off into the most unlikely of places.  I needed to wind down my brain to try and overcome my insomnia when I started giggling out loud.

Somehow I started reflecting on some of the most embarrassing moments I’ve endured over the last 10 years living this life in a wheelchair.  When living with a spinal cord injury there are a 1,001 things that can go wrong in your life on a daily basis, most of which are frustrating, dangerous, embarrassing, and suck the life out of you, but I find there can be humor in most situations.

Whenever I read other people’s blogs, websites, stories, etc. I find the ones most interesting who share their personal experiences in a raw form because so many of us can relate to those moments.  If you do not have a disability, I’m sure what I’m about to share with you will hopefully make you laugh, perhaps shy away from reading a certain sentence or paragraph, but at the very least will make you appreciate some of what many of us with varying disabilities deal with on a daily basis.  If you do have a disability I’m sure you can relate to at least one of my stories!

Without further ado, I’ve invited myself to a “Roasting” as they say in the celebrity business. Continue reading

“THE DIGITAL SEX INDUSTRY – A CURIOSITY INVESTMENT”

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I’ve always been curious by nature whether that be understanding the physics of a white dwarf star in our universe or diving into the world of neural plasticity to study how the brain can change itself or simply figuring out why human history always seems to repeat itself.  There is no topic to simple or complex that doesn’t intrigue me in some fashion.

Over this past weekend I took a few hours, as I often do on lazy Saturday mornings, to poke around the Internet to stimulate my intellectual curiosity on unknown topics.  Much to my surprise, I stumbled upon a short video clip produced by Business Insider Today on the topic of the Digital Sex Industry.  I must admit this is not a topic I have given much thought to, or ever for that matter, but it piqued my curiosity leading me down my proverbial inquisitiveness rabbit hole.

The wheels in my head started turning as I was thinking about sex, which many of you know I’m very open about and cannot understand why sex is such a taboo topic to discuss in public – much like money or religion.  In any event, I wanted to explore the rise in the digital sex industry over the last several years, and in particular, how the industry has changed over the last two months in light of Covid-19. Continue reading