The Fight for Survival – Health Insurance Battle Tactics for Medically Necessary Services – Part 2

We should be enraged, inspired to change, and determined to fight as Americans with the state of our healthcare system in this country.  The fact that we spend 2 to 3 times more on health insurance in the United States for subpar services as compared to many other countries in the world is outrageous. It speaks to the issue of no regulatory authority in our healthcare system.  The government does not regulate healthcare prices resulting in huge price variations in addition to, but certainly not limited to, consistent denials for countless medically necessary services and products for many hard-working Americans.

-I have a Story –

Tens of thousands of others share similar stories.  I’ve had enough and it’s time to fight for my survival and for those who cannot do it for themselves.  I’m hard-working, pay into our governmental system, and spend $8,000-$13,000 per year out-of-pocket for health insurance only to be denied medically necessary equipment at every turn.  I have spent hundreds of hours over the last several years fighting quietly for medical services I need and now it’s time to take the fight public.  This is an issue of basic human dignity so that I may live my life with independence and freedom despite being severely physically disabled.

Read the Rest on Push Livinghttps://pushliving.com/the-fight-for-survival-health-insurance-battle-tactics-for-medically-necessary-services-part-2/

 

“THE DIGITAL SEX INDUSTRY – A CURIOSITY INVESTMENT”

I’ve always been curious by nature whether that be understanding the physics of a white dwarf star in our universe or diving into the world of neural plasticity to study how the brain can change itself or simply figuring out why human history always seems to repeat itself.  There is no topic to simple or complex that doesn’t intrigue me in some fashion.

Over this past weekend I took a few hours, as I often do on lazy Saturday mornings, to poke around the Internet to stimulate my intellectual curiosity on unknown topics.  Much to my surprise, I stumbled upon a short video clip produced by Business Insider Today on the topic of the Digital Sex Industry.  I must admit this is not a topic I have given much thought to, or ever for that matter, but it piqued my curiosity leading me down my proverbial inquisitiveness rabbit hole.

The wheels in my head started turning as I was thinking about sex, which many of you know I’m very open about and cannot understand why sex is such a taboo topic to discuss in public – much like money or religion.  In any event, I wanted to explore the rise in the digital sex industry over the last several years, and in particular, how the industry has changed over the last two months in light of Covid-19. Continue reading

INTIMACY AND ROMANCE AFTER MARRIAGE – “NEWLYWED LIFE”

If you get married in your early 20’s I’m sure life after marriage, especially newlywed life, is comprised of sex, unicorns, and rainbows!  However, I think when you get married in your mid 30’s or later the concept of romance and intimacy after marriage profoundly changes.  So many television shows and movies over the last century have romanticized newlywed life for so many.

In several months I’m coming up on my one year anniversary of marrying my one and only, my main squeeze, and my partner in crime.  I can only share with you what I’ve learned thus far and I’m sure the life lessons will continue to roll in as the year’s progress.

Being a newlywed comes with so many new adventures, challenges, and compromises.  I think we were unique as a couple respect to understanding the intimacies of daily life because of my situation with spinal cord injury.  My “now” husband had to intimately understand everything that comes along with my care, my life, and issues I face.  I find so many couples don’t really get to know one another until years after marriage, but there are advantages to having a disability as you really need to show your partner your whole self because they need to know what they are getting into if they want to be with you for life.

Read the Rest on Push Living Magazine: https://pushliving.com/intimacy-and-romance-after-marriage-newlywed-life/

 

“A STORY OF THE GIGGLING UTERUS”

It all started with two little pills – one from above and one from below …

There are not often medical stories in my life that end up in giggles, smiles, and rainbows, but I am proud to say this one did!

In my adolescent years of spinal cord injury I developed several pulmonary embolism’s causing me to take blood thinners for several years.  As a result, high levels of estrogen in my blood (found in many contraceptive pills), which have the tendency to cause blood clots, would forever leave me in a situation where estrogen could quite literally kill me.  This posed a challenge for me as I became sexually active several years following my accident.

In my particular case, becoming pregnant would very likely result in my untimely demise.  Needless-to-say after being killed by several medical professionals years earlier due to a cockup with a certain medication; I was not particularly keen to repeat this experience nor have a little bun in my oven of my own. Continue reading

“THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES”

2

Aaron and I just got back from our honeymoon the other week where we drove several hours from Raleigh, North Carolina to Asheville, North Carolina. I had been wanting to see Asheville for the past 15 years and Aaron had attended University in that neck of the woods. People fly all over the world to visit this lush and scenic city, and I can’t believe I had lived in Raleigh for the last several years and not made a trip over there. We decided to forgo an international honeymoon to save on plane tickets in order to have a five-star honeymoon in Asheville.

We embarked on so many adventures, stayed in extravagant resort hotels, explored several of the hundreds of breweries, went on a waterfall adventure, partook in some hand glassblowing, joined in on the Friday night drum circles in the heart of downtown Ashville, and so much more. At the end of this blog you’ll see a myriad of fun photos from our adventures.

While we were having a lazy morning in bed one day a topic of conversation arose with respect to all of the circumstances in life that had to play out accordingly in order for us to be where we are today. There are folks in life where the puzzle pieces just seem to fall where they may and life works out smoothly. For most of us, this is not really the case. We have to work hard, throw in some blood sweat and tears, push through challenging hardships, and go through our personal journeys in order to achieve where we are in life today.

This is no exception for the two of us. I cannot speak for Aaron, but as for myself, there are so many factors being paralyzed I had to overcome to have that lazy morning with my husband on the most romantic honeymoon. Continue reading

A FAIRY TALE WEEKEND OF WEDDING CELEBRATIONS

1

When I moved from China to Raleigh back in 2015 I could not have imagined ever getting married, let alone getting married to my “Partner in Crime” and best friend.  I married Aaron Watkins on Saturday, May 18 and it was one of the happiest days of my life!

I would be remiss not to clearly thank my family and Aaron’s family for everything they did to make this wedding possible.  My parents have been there every step of the way for me, unwavering in support and love, which is why I truly believe I am where I am today.  Sometimes they say it takes a village to raise a baby, but in my case it took a clan of Ingersoll’s to raise me after the accident.

I was so certain when I was first injured 9 years ago that I would have a fulfilling life, but a life without love and a partner.  I had come to terms with this and made peace in my mind.  What I did not realize is how much love can literally transform one’s outlook on life.  I used only live from one challenge to another – now I look forward to future adventures, and when those challenges do arise I know will have someone by my side every step of the way.

Originally we wanted to have a very small ceremony with immediate family only, but my father thankfully convinced me this was an occasion we would not want to forget.  He was right in more ways than one.

We had family and friends from Raleigh, around the United States, London, Germany, France, and China join us for four days of round-the-clock festivities.  It was a world wind weekend and I prepared for months to make sure everything went smoothly – and it was over so quickly.  Everyone always told me to make sure to take a moment and enjoy everything around you when you’re getting married, which is exactly what I did.  I neurotically planned everything down to a T and the week before the wedding I was relaxed, present, and able to connect with people who I had not seen in over 10 years.

I didn’t even realize how much love Aaron and I have in our life and support around the globe.  Living life is about people, relationships, and quality time in my opinion.  I know at the end of my life I will not look back at how hard I worked, but rather the people who have influenced my life, and I theirs.

While I meticulously planned the wedding there are just certain factors you cannot control.  I ended up getting severe bronchitis three weeks prior to the wedding.  I did everything in my power and by some universal grace I stopped coughing four days before the wedding.

Unfortunately, I also developed a pressure sore that Thursday before the wedding.  I was very careful, leaned back in my chair a lot to shift the weight off my bum, and I don’t know why or how, but I got really really lucky!

Now, onto the Wedding Celebration Festivities:

Continue reading

ROMANCE RE-DEFINED

Aaron and I are getting married next Saturday, May 18.  We’ve invited 70 of our close friends and family.  Originally we started with only 30 guests, but somehow we’ve ended up with 70 guests 🙂 It’s going to be such a magical day as there are so many family friends I have not seen in over a decade.  We have a weekend full of events to celebrate. We are very excited and scrambling to finalize last-minute details.

Unfortunately, I’ve developed bronchitis at the most inopportune time and have been battling it for the last several weeks.  I have one week to go before the wedding and I am doing everything in my power to get well quickly.

It’s been a challenging several weeks as bronchitis for quadriplegics can be immensely difficult since we do not have abdominal muscles to help us cough up that nasty phlegm associated with bronchitis.  It’s not a pretty sight!  However, dealing with any kind of illness as a quadriplegic requires help from caregivers, family members, and loved ones.  I’ve had a team of people helping me over the last several weeks for which I am extremely grateful.

I have locked myself down in my house for the last 3 weeks and have had many hours to rest, read, and recuperate.  I came across this article written by the New Yorker on the topic of “What Romance really means after 10 years of Marriage.”  The basic premise of the article addressed how the definition of a romance and sexiness changes after a decade of marriage.  This really resonated with me because from the perspective of dating a person with a disability I find that Aaron and I have transformed our definition of romance in just a few short years, which I suspect takes many couples a decade to achieve.

Let me explain. Continue reading

Wedding Bells & Wheelchairs

My fiancé and I have finally set a date for our wedding — Saturday, May 18!  We got engaged back in August of 2017 and simply cannot wait to be married to one other.

I had envisioned getting married in a bikini with a giant barbecue on the beach and having a big soirée with family and friends while we frolicked about in the water.  Clearly, I’ve had to adjust my expectations as I’m not quite sure a bikini would be very flattering these days in a wheelchair nor would getting stuck in the sand with my wheels 😉

I’ve been thinking critically over the last several months on what I want to do for my special day.  I came to the conclusion that I want my fiancé.  Plain and simple.  I just want to be married to this man who loves me dearly, and I him!  Frankly, I wouldn’t say I don’t care about the wedding, but I’ve never been the type of girl to throw a giant wedding with all the bells and whistles.  Honestly, I rather save up all that money spent on a wedding for a wonderful honeymoon and adventures traveling with my main squeeze.

Read the rest on Push living Magazine: https://pushliving.com/wedding-bells-wheelchairs/?mc_cid=984e329e09&mc_eid=ab8a053cfc

 

LOVE in a “DISABLED” World

2
Last week I was on one of my spinal cord injury Facebook groups and I was reading a post where a gentleman was commenting on how he was in love, but he just felt so incredibly lucky that someone could love him with everything that comes along with dealing with spinal cord injury.

The endless comments that followed really resonated with me as folks told him stories about how they had been married for decades whether both the couples were injured themselves or whether they were with an able-bodied person.

This post really struck a chord as it got me thinking about the concept of love and what we as human beings can look past in order find the beauty within another individual.

Read the rest on Push Living Magazine: https://pushliving.com/love-in-a-disabled-world/?fbclid=IwAR1r3Cw3DfWrFQlRaP_GWIJ5JYiw-twhvBNUCWr8WIjCagasvJ8aEl-ZNK4

 

LESSONS LEARNED FROM MY “LIFE BREAK” IN MIAMI

For the past two years I’ve taken several weeks a year to head down to Miami from my home in Raleigh, North Carolina for a “Life Break.”  I used to live in Miami for about 12 years and am fortunate enough to have a place to stay when I go down there.  I was feeling overwhelmed and lost in life, so spending several weeks in the sunshine was a very welcome break indeed.  I just returned from Miami several days ago with something more valuable than a few weeks of fun in the sun so to speak.

I went down to Miami with the intention of spending time with my fiancé swimming, getting together with some of my great friends, frolicking about on different adventures, reading, and just relaxing.  However, what I returned to Raleigh with was something much more powerful than just recharging my batteries.

I’ve been trying to figure out for some time why I have not quite felt at home in Raleigh since I moved here three years ago.  I have met some wonderful people who I get to see on the weekends with my fiancé, but I am lacking something extremely essential in my life.  Community.  I usually go about my day waking up, exercising, working, and dealing with whatever caregiver headaches pop up my way as I just can’t seem to keep a steady one. The best part of my day is when my honey comes home to me at the end of the day.  On the weekends we usually pop around town a bit to meet up with some friends if they are around, but my happy place is truly in the water or near the water.

I’ve always underestimated the concept of community until recently.  My whole life I’ve kind of been a loner you could say popping around the world, moving from home to home, and while I have good friends around the world I’ve never really stayed put anywhere long enough to build a real sense of community except for in Miami.  I’m not sure if it is being paralyzed or the fact that I am in my mid-30s, but I want to build a life in an environment that makes me happy with people around me who have known me for a very long time.  I’m not going to have children, so Aaron and I need to find where we fit in this world to build a strong community of people around us.  I don’t think Raleigh fits the bill in the long run for me particularly because as I get older the nerve pain I suffer from gets very severe during the cold winter months.  So, I am pondering the idea of moving back down to Miami in the next few years. Continue reading