My dear friend, Karen Roy, was gracious enough to host a beautiful podcast with Billy Warden and myself on our outing where I took Billy for a night on the town. I offered Billy a different perspective on being a wheelchair user by fitting him with a Permobil F3 power wheelchair and taping his hands up to make little “paws” as my hands are as a C6 quadriplegic.
Naturally, I cannot offer any able-bodied person a true experience of what it’s like to be a quadriplegic, but I did have the ability to offer him a perspective shift for a day a few of the challenges many of us wheelchair users and quadriplegics go through on a regular basis.
As Ms. Wheelchair America 2023 I am constantly looking to push boundaries with respect to inclusion, but also focus heavily on changing people’s perspectives in many arenas in life. Karen Roy, Ms. Wheelchair America 2019 was such an inspiration for me running as we shared similar platforms with respect to health insurance, adaptive exercise equipment, and medically necessary equipment.
A dear friend of mine writes for many magazines and wrote a beautiful piece over the last several months on my life, but what I think was very different as compared to many profile pieces was a night out on the town with me.
I fitted Billy up for a power wheelchair and taped his hands up as a quadriplegic with little “paws” like mine for a night as we went bouncing around town and dancing at the Dueling Pianos Bar.
In no world would I be able to simulate what it would be like to be a quadriplegic for the day, but at the very least, I wanted Billy to get a different perspective on life for eight hours.
I won’t spoil it because he is such a talented and brilliant writer — you get life from his perspective as an able-bodied person.
He also wrote a beautiful and wacky piece on my life.
It’s hard to believe that nearly 10 months have passed since being crowned Ms. Wheelchair North Carolina 2022. I have been engaging in so many advocacy activities over the last year to further my advocacy mission.
I am just a week away from heading out to Ms. Wheelchair America 2023 to compete with 22 other amazing wheelchair advocates in a competition that is going to create memories for a lifetime.
I looked up some of my amazing competitors, some of whom are actually friends of mine, and they all have fantastic platforms engaging in meaningful work to make our society more inclusive to folks with disabilities. It certainly going to be stiff competition for sure.
I know people who lose competitions probably say this all the time, but honestly, WIN or LOSE I am certain of one thing. All of the advocacy work I engage in around the country and globally involve collaborating with people. I don’t just mean anyone, but rock-star disability advocates in their own respective fields regardless of what disability they may have.
So, I KNOW THIS FOR SURE — I will be collaborating and partnering with many of these rock-star women for years to come on so many different missions in the name of making the world we live in more inclusive for future generations. I commend those that came before me and it is only fair that I do my part for those who will take over in the decades to come.
I never critically stopped to ponder why being a great communicator can also lead to a very lonely existence at times. Since I was a child, I have always been “perky” as they say and never had a problem in social settings. I love people, communicating with them, helping them, and always trying to find a middle ground between disagreeing viewpoints.
Since my accident so many people tell me that my patience levels, communication skills, and calm demeanor are extremely admirable. This is what I’m told to my face anyway. I believe it’s true though as I have this odd ability to stay unusually calm in stressful situations, and be patient for far longer than I probably should be at times.
I attribute much of this to Blue Cross and Blue Shield with the hundreds of hours I’ve spent on the phone with folks that are not particularly bright trying to get medically necessary equipment approved. I recall this one day I spent nearly 7 hours on the phone calling back Blue Cross and Blue Shield trying to find someone who could actually help me or transfer me to the right person. On that particular day I do recount losing my patience as I started to raise my voice, which is very unlike me.
On a serious note, and I’ve written about this on my social media before, living with a disability where you are physically dependent on other human beings to help physically take care of you each day is a blessing, and a challenge wrapped up in an emotional bow.
Very cool podcast I was part of that offers a very unique perspective on how many of us with disabilities approach the conversations with our caregivers when we want to be intimate with a new person in our life, and how we handle those conversations.
Probably not something you think much about, but it’s an important topic that constantly gets pushed aside and is left unrecognized!
I personally have had a lot of really interesting experiences and conversations when I was engaged in the dating part of my life prior to getting married. Some wild conversations for sure 😉